Pretty Dresses & Hiking Boots

Sex+ Questionnaire

2012-02-21T14:37:00.000-08:00

So on Laci Green's blog, she posted this questionnaire for people to fill out for fun! It's a little personal, but I thought, why not? So if you want to know a little more about me and my sex life, read on! But if not, best skip this one. x3

Sex+ Questionnaire For: Rose
Age: 24
Sex: female
Location: California
Sexual Awakenings
1. How did you learn about sex?
At school. In fourth grade, we had a special series of classes on health, and one of them was about sex.
2. Were you able to talk about sex with your parents?
I guess so. I mean, my mom's always been pretty open about it, but I've always been really shy.
3. Do you remember your first kiss?
Oh yes. :)
4. Tell us about an embarrassing moment you’ve had with your sexuality/partner/etc.
Two words: constipation and anal
5. How old were you when you made your sexual debut? Were you ready for it?
I was at the ripe young age of 23. I was waaayyy ready for it!
Relationships
6. Are you in a romantic or sexual relationship?
Yes, and yes. :3
7. Would you prefer being in a relationship or being single? Why?
I prefer being in a relationship because, even though I usually like to avoid all the "mushy" stuff, there are times when I need some intimacy.
8. Would you ever consider a polyamorous relationship?
Yeah, actually. My boyfriend and I have talked about it, and if we ever find the right bisexual guy for us, we'd definitely be interested in a triad relationship.
9. Have you ever cheated on a partner?
Absolutely not.
10. What was your longest relationship? Your shortest?
I've only been in one relationship, the one I'm in now, and it's been more than six months. <3
11. What do you look for in a partner?
Intelligence, maturity, silliness, the ability to have a deep conversation, the ability to have a shallow goofy conversation, an interest in some of the things I'm interested in, an interest in some of the things I'm not interested in, respect for others, an entrepreneurial mind, and a love of children.
12. Do you have any “deal breakers”?
Inappropriate teasing, being disrespectful of others, a severely immature sense of humor, and laziness to the point of not caring.
Sexploration
13. What is your favorite way to ask for consent?
Do you have any condoms?/I have a condom ...
14. What is your favorite position?
Anal doggy style.
15. Would you/have you had a one night stand?
Yeah, I guess I would.
16. What’s your favorite place to be touched by a partner?
My ass.
17. Is there anything that you’ve wanted to try sexually but haven’t (yet)?
I'd like to try a swing.
18. Would you/have you had group sex (3+ people)?
I'd do a threesome with two guys, but no more I think.
19. Would you/have you practiced BDSM?
I guess I have? Anyway, I'd like to do more.
20. Would you/have you done role-play?
I haven't, and I'm afraid I'd just start cracking up and not be able to stop. xD
21. What is your biggest turn on?
Being pinned.
22. Biggest turn off?
Vagina. Sorry, ladies. xD
23. How often do you masturbate?
A few times a week, depending on how often I'm with my boyfriend.
24. What do you think is the most erotic part of your body?
My boobs or my legs.
Self Love
25. What’s your favorite thing about yourself?
My honesty.
26. What’s your biggest accomplishment in the last 3 years?
Getting on some good meds and dealing with my depression.
27. Tell us one goal you have for yourself.
To be happy, no matter my circumstances.
28. How do you take care of yourself?
I meditate.
Hot Topics
29. Do you support a woman’s right to choose an abortion if she accidentally gets pregnant?
Although I am against abortion morally, I do support a woman's right to choose.
30. Do you think prostitution should be legal?
Yes.
31. If you had a baby boy, would you have his foreskin removed (circumcise him)?
Absolutely not.
32. Should same-sex marriage be legal?
Absolutely! Along with polyamorous marriage.
33. Should comprehensive sex education be given in high schools or abstinence only?
Comprehensive, but I think it should be the student's choice whether or not to take it.
To Infinity, and Beyond
34. What do you want to be when you grow up?
An organic farmer.
35. Do you want to get married?
Yes.
36. Do you want to have children?
Just one of my own, and as many foster children as I can convince my husband to take in. :3
37. What do you want to do for others before you die?
Raise kids who don't have a family of their own.

The Pagan Prepper #1: My Goals

2012-02-06T05:29:00.000-08:00

The National Geographic Channel has a new show starting on Tuesday entitled Doomsday Preppers, and the minute I saw the commercial, I was intrigued and ecstatic. I started doing a little research, and before I knew it, I had found my latest obsession.

In becoming a "prepper," I've decided I should explain myself, if only for my own sanity, so in this the first volume of The Pagan Prepper, I will go into my prepping goals. First, why do I want to prep? What do I hope to accomplish?

I want to:
- Cut down on the "global trafficking" of food by buying seasonally and locally
- Grow my own food
- Preserve the fresh food I buy and grow
- Stock up for hard economic times (not uncommon in my house)
- Save money by buying in bulk
- Prepare for a natural disaster or other emergency situation

Secondly, what are my specific goals?

I want to:
- Stock up at least three months worth of food and water for each person in my home
- Grow myself or buy at a farmer's market at least half of our food
- Make at least half of our preserved food home-preserved
- Stock up at least three months worth of toiletries and other supplies
- Create fully-equipped bug-out/get home bags for each person in our home

These goals may change with time, but it makes me feel so much more prepared just having it all written down. :)

Indoctrination

2012-01-31T20:00:00.000-08:00

So today, I've been hearing a lot about indoctrination. First, it was from a comment on the following video claiming that this intelligent young man was indoctrinated by his parents.

At first, my response was, "Of course he's indoctrinated. Aren't we all in some form or another?"

But then, I ran across this article on Laci Green's website, where she cites Google's definition of indoctrination: "teaching someone to accept doctrines uncritically." It's that uncritically part that is the point here. Now, her article is about indoctrination in the Christian church when compared to a university, but all I will say about that is, there are some professors that do want to indoctrinate their students and there are some pastors who want their flock to think critically. It is not an all-or-nothing situation.

Indoctrination can happen anywhere, at any time. It is not simply something that parents do to their children or preachers do to their followers. If you tacitly accept any information given you, you have just been indoctrinated. The media indoctrinates us, advertising indoctrinates us, the god damned packaging on our food indoctrinates us. Thinking critically is the only way to avoid indoctrination.

Isis and Names

2011-12-12T01:15:00.000-08:00

Ever since I became a Wiccan, I've had an issue when it came to gods and goddesses. Well, it wasn't really an issue, per se, but there were never really any gods or goddesses that called to me to be my patron god or matron goddess. I was pretty much fine with this, having given up and been content to work with the generic God and Goddess, until tonight.

I was watching a CharmingPixieFlora video on choosing a goddess and a god, listening to what she said and thinking it probably wouldn't change a thing in the way I practice because no gods or goddesses had really spoken to me, when all of a sudden Isis jumped into my head. Seriously, that's exactly what it felt like. Flora didn't say anything about Isis, there were no links to videos about her, no ads on the page with her image, and yet her name and winged figure shone in my skull like they never had before.

Now, I had always been a little bit reluctant to get into any Egyptian spirituality or mythology because as far as I know I'm not descendant of any Egyptians and I give great precedence to the gods worshiped by my ancestors. I am very interested in Ancient Egyptian history, but I thought it best to leave my interest in the realm of historical facts about the people and their environment, rather than bringing it into my spiritual practice. Also, I had shied away from Isis, in particular, since it seems that most people who feel drawn to the Egyptian pantheon are drawn to Isis, so much so that it almost seems like "the cool thing to do," and I've always had a dreadful distaste for "the cool thing to do."

Having Isis jump into my head like that, though, was a little off-putting, and I'm starting to disregard all of those things I used to think. It's also led me to believe that the term "Wiccan," which in my mind is a very Celtic/Anglo-Saxon term, doesn't fit me anymore. Perhaps it is too early to say whether or not Isis will be a big part of my spiritual life, but she has led me to change what I call myself. I feel much more comfortable calling myself a Pagan now, more so than I did in the past. I don't feel Wiccan anymore, and it's a little ... freeing?

Should Pagans Celebrate Thanksgiving?

2011-11-23T03:25:00.000-08:00

I know this may seem like a strange question and it may seem like an outrageous fanatical proposal is at hand, but bear with me here. First of all, I'm not taking the position that Thanksgiving is a Christian holiday and that's why we shouldn't celebrate it. Rather, I simply raise the question out of respect for fellow Pagans who may be offended by the holiday.

I think I am not alone in including Native Americans under our widespread, umbrella term of "Pagan." Although their beliefs and rituals differ from nation to nation, in general, they share an earth-centered religion, which by its very definition is Pagan. So, needless to say, I feel a bit of a connection to Native Americans of all nations through our respect of and relationship with the earth.

Therefore, when I think and read about how my country and my ancestors treated them, I'm none too happy about it. Persecution of any people, of any religion, sickens me thoroughly, and it pains me to know that the freedom I have in this country was taken from a great many noble, native nations.

"But Rose," you may be saying, "the Pilgrims and Indians were friends! They feasted together on the first Thanksgiving!" Well, the natives of Massachusetts may have helped the Puritan immigrants in Plymouth by showing them how to grow corn and squash, but, according to the History Channel, they weren't originally invited to the Thanksgiving feast of 1621. After the Pilgrims fired their weapons as a show of force and celebration of their first successful harvest, the natives, instead of being intimidated, took it as an invitation and showed up with some deer to feast with them. It'd be like if your crazy hillbilly neighbors were shooting off their guns to show how much cooler than you they were, and you decided to come over with a chicken rice casserole as they were eating dinner. It would be a little awkward, to say the least, but who would refuse a chicken rice casserole?

Check out this little article that I ran across. Now, admittedly, it is only proof that one Native American doesn't celebrate Thanksgiving, and as I don't know many personally, I'm not sure if this is a widespread school of thought or just a guy with a grudge, but it did make me think. Should we celebrate a holiday rooted in the persecution of fellow Pagans? After all, immigrants all over New England, including the Pilgrims of Plymouth, enslaved and killed Native Americans of all creeds, especially those that got in the way of their hostile takeover of the country. I don't know if that's something worth celebrating or not.

True, we could just celebrate the holiday as a day of thanksgiving to the gods and a day of feasting, but if you celebrate the eight Wiccan Sabbats, we have quite a few harvest holidays as it is (Lughnasadh, Mabon, and Samhain). Do I really want to celebrate another one, especially one that is rooted in such history?

I don't know. Obviously, despite my thoughts on the subject, my family still celebrates Thanksgiving, and as there aren't many holidays I can celebrate with my Christian relatives, I'll take any excuse to celebrate with them, but it's something to keep in mind once I move out and start a family of my own.

Passion

2011-11-10T18:48:00.000-08:00

Just for fun, I decided to make a list of things I'm passionate about. Some of them may seem premature since I'm not a parent yet, but they are things I hope to remain passionate about once I do have children.

Mental health awareness
Religious tolerance
Bullying
Sex Positivity
Homesteading
Organic foods
Homemade gifts
Products made in America
Foster children
Unschooling
Attachment Parenting

Other things may be added to this list later on because I can't think of anything right now. xD

Discovering Unschooling

2011-10-29T01:48:00.000-07:00

Since the typical public school system failed me in high school, I've been pretty passionate about alternative education of all kinds, and I discovered early on that I wanted to homeschool my kids. At first I could say it was because I wanted them to have a "quality, Christian education," and after I became a Wiccan, I said it was because I wanted to keep them out of the corrupt public school system. However, when I really think about it, it's always been because I want my kids to learn in their own way and develop a love for learning that few people seem to have these days.

Because of my passion for homeschooling, I started researching and planning for the day I would teach my children years before I even got my first boyfriend. I still don't have kids (hell, I just started dating my first boyfriend less than three months ago), but every so often you'll find me researching the newest and greatest in homeschooling methods and curriculum.

In my most recent spurt of research, I reluctantly Googled a term I'd heard a few times before, but had been too scared and skeptical to take seriously: unschooling. And what did I find? It makes total sense to me.

Why? When I was around two and three, I lived (during the Summer months) with my dad in the mountains where he mined and dredged for gold. We lived in a tent, and later a travel trailer, and I took baths in a large metal tub in water heated up in a coffee can on a camp stove. I didn't have TV, a computer, or many toys. Every day, I ran the risk of dying of boredom.

What was my dad's solution? He taught me to read, write, add, and subtract. I learned how to spell the things in our every day world, things like coffee, river, rock, and oatmeal. When I started asking Dad how to spell words that he didn't even know how to spell, he taught me how to use a dictionary, and I taught myself.

He didn't sit me down and have me fill out a workbook. There was no chalkboard or even very much paper. There were no tests or quizzes, and I wasn't compelled to "study." I simply asked him how to spell things, and he told me. It was fun for me to recite spellings and to count things. My dad's friends said I was one of the most articulate three-year-olds they'd ever met. The public schools wouldn't let me start school when I was four, but when I insisted, I started a private school in March and graduated Kindergarten three months later in even strides with or above the rest of my class.

So what went wrong? How did I go from being a veritable genius in Kindergarten to failing two classes a year in high school? My theory? School.

What kid likes to go to school? Probably very few, and those that do are more than likely just glad to escape their crappy home life (the subject of another blog entirely). Why do kids hate school? Is it because they have to do things they don't want to do? Is it because it's boring? Is it because the social aspects and bullying are incredibly stress-inducing? I'd say, yes! It's all these things, and many more!

"Well," you say, "when they grow up, they're going to have to do things they don't want to do." Like what? Work? Do we really want to live in a society where everyone hates their jobs? Wouldn't we rather raise kids to find a way to make a living doing what they love to do? Maybe the reason you said that is because you aren't making a living doing what you want to do. Besides, what better way to teach kids about doing things in real life that they don't want to do than actually including them in these things now? You can't do that when they're at school all day.

All these things and a decision to unschool my own children have brought me back to my own education. At the moment, I'm in limbo as I try to scrape together over $5,000 to continue with my school for the next eight months. Why am I doing this? Why am I paying so much for a piece of paper? Yes, my school is wonderful. If I were really, truly passionate about the entertainment industry, it may be worth it, but the truth is, I'm more passionate about books and literacy than anything else. So why should I continue paying thousands of dollars so I can tell people that I have a degree?

Well, I'm not sure if I'm about to drop out of school, but I think it would be kind of hypocritical if I spend loads of money and time getting a degree just to have the title of college graduate when I want to teach my kids to teach themselves.

Heritage

2011-06-10T07:38:00.001-07:00

Forgive my rambling; this was a thought process.

I am a product of my history. My ancestors did terrible things, and the repercussions of their actions are still being heard throughout the world. And now, instead of learning from their mistakes, my brothers and sisters (yes, I'm daring to call my fellow Germanic descendents - "white" people - my brothers and sisters) are following in their footsteps. For shame, guys. For shame.

I love my California, but sometimes I wish I lived in the land of my ancestors. Where is that land? I don't know. I'm probably descended from (according to Wikipedia) the Germanic tribes and the Hallstatts. So Scandinavia and Austria? But where did those people immigrate from? Africa, according to most anthropologists. So how far back do you go? If I say, "The land of my people is America," Native Americans will say they were here first. If I say, "The land of my people is England, Scotland, and Ireland," I have to consider how many invasions that land went through and where the invaders originally came from. If I say, "The land of my people is Scandinavia, Germany, and Austria," I must consider where those people's ancestors came from.

So you see, I get into this trap. I want to belong somewhere; I want to be a part of a people that have a land to belong to. But this is impossible. We can all be traced back to a few genetically altered apes, and even further to the same one-celled organism and ... you can just keep going until you can't think anymore.

So then I fast-forward to the present and say, "I am an American. It's where I live, no matter how my ancestors came to acquire the place. This is where I was born, and it's where I belong." And where does that leave me?

It leaves me in a place where there's too much going on. Where is my community? Who are its leaders? Who are my peers? The answers to these questions are innumerable! At one time in my ancestors' history, these answers were clear and easily recognized, but now ... now our generation is lost, looking for somewhere to belong and for someone to tell them what their place is in the world. Only when we know our place can we take a stand for or against it. We cannot say our place is unjust if we don't know what it is!

The people say to find our own place in this world, but do you have any idea how difficult that is? It's like trying to merge into a steady flow of fast-moving traffic. It's nearly impossible if you're not on the road, but if you're already driving on it, you can best know how to make your move to change lanes, if that be your choice.

Where is this all taking me? We need a community, god damn it! Not the fake political bullshit that goes on with city ordinances and funding for schools and all that shit. I mean, that's necessary I suppose, but what I'm talking about is something deeper. I'm talking about somewhere you feel safe, where you can call up a half a dozen people to come help you with whatever and they'll be there, where every step in your journey of life is celebrated, where new people don't have to worry about "getting out and meeting new people" because they've already been welcomed by all their neighbors. I'm not talking about a utopia, where everyone gets along and disputes are settled without tears.

White people used to have this with church. It was their beliefs that brought them together. Everywhere else in the world, though, and throughout history, people were brought together because they happened to live near one another. True, there were more complicated things that separated and bonded people, but the truth was, you knew who was in your community because they lived right next door.

Honestly, who knows who all of their neighbors are? My dog got out of the yard one day, and I didn't answer the door to my neighbor because I didn't recognize him. He lives right next door! Right next fucking door! And I KNOW I'm not alone in this. There are people all over this country who don't know more than two people on their block or in their building, and look at what's become of us! Kids joining gangs, people joining cults, girls being tricked into prostitution - all because we're looking for somewhere to belong.

So that's where my search for heritage comes from. I'm just looking for a place to belong.

New Fitness Blog!

2011-05-29T09:33:00.000-07:00

I'm just writing today to tell you all about my new fitness blog, Roses and Thorns! It's just basically a place for me to post what workouts I did, how many reps I did, and other such nonsense, but you should check it out! The URL's rosesfitness.blogspot.com. :)

Learning to Shine

2011-05-14T16:32:00.000-07:00

This is an assignment I did for my English Composition class, and, since it's Mental Health Month, I thought I'd share it with all of you. :)

When I was in high school, I was diagnosed with clinical depression. Music played a very big part in not only helping me through that time, but also helping me understand and put words to how I was feeling.

Track List

1. “Going Under” – Fallen – Evanescence

2. “Crawling” – Hybrid Theory – Linkin Park

3. “Everything Ends” – Iowa – Slipknot

4. “Reflection” – Christina Aguilera – Christina Aguilera

5. “Firework” – Teenage Dream – Katy Perry

“Going Under”

Upon looking up the lyrics to this song, it seems that it isn’t really about what I thought it was when I was in high school. The concept of “going under,” however, was one that I could really relate to at the time, especially when Depression* first started to rear its ugly head my Sophomore year. I felt like a girl in a horror movie, and some creature was pulling me under the bed—a dark, cramped place where it was hard to hear anyone else’s voice.

“Crawling”

This song definitely describes my state when Depression was first recognized as such by a doctor. It was “confusing what [was] real,” making every pebble on the road of my life seem like a mountain. It was “consuming,” “confusing,” and it gave me a “lack of self-control” as I threw wild temper tantrums every time any little thing went wrong or frustrated me. Depression had taken its hold on my life, and it wasn’t about to let go.

“Everything Ends”

This is my angry song. It completely embodies my state of mind when I was in the middle of a tantrum. I felt like the world was against me. I would hurt myself, hitting myself in the head or digging my nails into my skin, and it was in these moments that I contemplated suicide. This was the darkest and scariest part of Depression, and although it’s the one that most people focus on (probably because it is the most physically dangerous), it was really only a small part compared to the daily lack of motivation and indifference I felt.

“Reflection”

When I first started taking the medication I’m on now, the one that works, I realized that the entire time I was depressed I had been wearing a mask. Because I lacked self-confidence and in an attempt to live a semi-functional life, I had created a mask that made me seem pretty normal to everyone who wasn’t close to me. I practiced the religion my family did, wore the clothes I was supposed to, and went to the school that everyone else did. The problem was, it wasn’t who I really was. When I finally got help for my Depression, I had to really do some digging to get out from under that mask and find out who I truly was.

“Firework”

On my journey of self-discovery, I came to realize everything this song says. Literally, I feel like every line pertains to me. I used to feel like I couldn’t even accomplish the simplest of goals, and now I feel like I can change the world. There used to be a darkness over me, and it fit in perfectly with the darkness in the world around me, but now I feel like there’s a light inside me and even if all I do is light up one square-foot of that darkness, I’ll have made a difference in the world.

*I capitalized Depression because since recovering from it, I’ve found that it is now more like a character in my life—someone that I can distance myself from or get close to again if I want and who I can tell stories about.

My Life

2011-05-10T07:07:00.000-07:00

WARNING: EXTREMELY LONG RANT UP AHEAD

My life is boring as shit.

I've found over the past couple of weeks that I really am a lot like my astrological sign (Sagittarius). "For the Sag-born, it's all about action and adventure" (Astrology.com). That is so what I'm yearning for right now! I've spent the past six weeks at home, and I'm going out of my brain with boredom. I need some kind of adventure; I need to explore! But most of all, I need social interaction. The only (face-to-face) friend action I've gotten lately is from Rani's friends, and although they're nice, it's just not the same as hanging out with your own friends.

If I had a car, it would be different, you know? I could just drive over to friends' houses or downtown or to freaking church and be able to interact with people! Without a car, it's so goddamn difficult. I have to scrounge up change for the bus, walk a mile and a half to the bus stop (which takes about a half an hour), take the bus downtown (or wherever) and finally find my friends and figure out what we're doing. That is, if my friends are available. And forget about going over to anyone's house!

Plus I'm becoming seriously concerned about my own personal hygiene ... and there's a lot of other stuff that I could say but won't on such a public forum.

I've actually been choosing, of my own free will, to stay up all night and sleep for twelve hours a day. I've never done that. I mean, yes, I've stayed up all night and slept for well over twelve hours before, but I've never done it on purpose. I just feel like there's no point.

I know, I know, it sounds all bad, like my depression has gotten worse or I've given up my pills or something, but that's not it at all. I'm not depressed for no reason, not like before. I'm depressed because I have no life, and I have no energy to do anything about it. It's just so hard!

I've never been very good at socializing with anyone, let alone people I'm trying to make friends with. Don't get me wrong, I love the friends I have. It's just that they're all busy with their own lives, and finals are coming up and everything ... and it would be nice to have friends that are of drinking age. Not that I'm all about getting drunk every night, or even on occasion, but I'd be lying if I said it wouldn't be nice to go out and have a drink with my friends every now and then.

I just suck with people my own age! Older people? Check. Kids? Check. Anyone between the ages of 14 and 30? Absolutely not. I don't know how to relate with them. How do you (unawkwardly) get someone's phone number? Not in a romantic way, but in a friend way. What do you do with friends? I mean, with the friends I've got, we always just sit around talking. That's great once you get to know someone or you have lots of things in common, but what if you just met them? Then what do you talk about or do to get to know them? And it seems like everyone I run into has lived here for years and has known their friends since elementary school. The only people I've known since elementary school are my family! I can't even imagine having a friend (or living in one area -- one house!) for that long!

I just want to go out and have some fun! Go camping, hiking, swimming, chilling around a bonfire drinking a beer and, yes, even smoking a cigarette (cloves, of course). Why the hell can't I have that? What is it in my DNA that makes people think -- I don't know what they think! What, I'm weird? I'm stuck up? I'm a downer? I don't like having fun? I'm going to "tell on them" if I see them doing something illegal (I mean, I have my boundaries, but you know)? What in the fuck is so wrong with me that people want to run in the other direction? "The fact that [Sagittarians] attract others with ease should be no surprise, since they have a great sense of fun and enjoy a good time"? Yeah right! It's extremely difficult to get people to see that in me. I mean, it's not like I repulse them; it's more that I'm (*coughclichecough*) invisible.

I've always been a very family- and community-oriented person. I have to have a close network of people that I see on an almost daily basis, or else I'll die of loneliness. I mean, I love my mom and my sister, but that's not enough! Especially when they both have lives and friends of their own.

And all of this is doing absolutely nothing for my love life. Gods forbid I actually go out on a date with someone, let alone kiss them or do .... you know ... other stuff with them.

God, I'm so lonely. Somebody come kidnap me and force margaritas down my throat? Not like anyone's going to read this ...

EDIT: I'm so fucking emo.

Nocturnal or Not Nocturnal, That Is the Question

2011-04-18T10:59:00.000-07:00

In 7th grade, I lived with my dad in a travel trailer out on the San Juan Ridge (or just "The Ridge" to us locals), and, honestly, it was one of the best years of my life. Not that I liked living with my dad more than my mom or anything like that; I love them both equally and it was hard for me to choose between them at that age. It's just that we lived in the mountains, and not just the mountains, but on a piece of property miles away from anyone else's home (besides Jerry's travel trailer, which was a few feet from ours; he owned the property--perhaps I'll write more about him at a later time). It was my first experience homeschooling, too, so I was free to spend most of my time outdoors, writing in the sunshine (this was also about the time that I discovered writing and decided that I wanted to be a writer).

At any rate, the only electricity we had was a car battery, and it was only used to power the tiny refrigerator so the food wouldn't go bad. In order to charge it, Dad had to run the motorcycle for an extended period of time, which wasted gas. Needless to say, we very rarely used it to power the electric lights. If we stayed up past dusk, we used candles and one (very bright) kerosene lamp. (Once we discovered Harry Potter, mind you, those candles and that lamp were used quite often as we read to each other all through the night, which is why I can't really remember 5-7 very well. I didn't read them with my dad.) Anywho, I remember sitting around the bonfire one night when dad looked over to the south, toward Nevada City, and pointed out the faint glow that was emanating from the horizon. He told me it was the light pollution the city produced.

Jump forward to these past few weeks, since I started doing school at home again, and my Twitter followers and friends on Facebook have probably noticed that my hours have been falling strictly under the category of Night Owl. It was starting to really bug the crap out of me, to be honest. I felt like I was missing something, sleeping all day long. When I woke up earlier than usual a couple of times, I even asked my sister if it was normally overcast in the morning and sunny in the afternoon. She gave me this concerned look and said, "Yeah," and I knew I had to do something.

So I started doing a little research. I looked up the term "nocturnal people," wondering if I was some unusual brand of night owl. I found a couple of articles (like this one and that one) that confirmed this diagnosis, and I was actually quite excited. At least now I knew what was wrong, right?

Not quite. I read through a really old forum on the subject, and there were a couple of people talking about "Cinderella's Electric Curfew," which is basically a fancy phrase for turning off all your lights (including the TV and computer) by midnight. They reported that this helped them get to sleep at an earlier hour, and they woke up feeling refreshed and energetic. One person suggested a book called Lights Out, which, when I looked it up on Amazon, seemed to employ too many gimmicks to get people to read it to interest me. The concept, though, was interesting.

And then I found this article: "Missing the Dark: Health Effects of Light Pollution." The term "light pollution" instantly reminded me of what my dad said, and I was immediately interested. According to the article, artificial light has adjusted our circadian clocks (the thing that tells your brain when it's time to sleep and when it's time to get up) so that a lot of people are finding it natural for them to be up all night and sleep during the day. This isn't naturally natural, however. Humans have evolved to be able to see only when there's light, not in the dark, and naturally there's only light during the day when the sun is out.

Well, this all made total sense to me, so I immediately turned out all my lights and lit a few candles. I listened to some music on the computer for a little while, with the screen turned away from me, and before I knew it I was getting sleepy, even though I hadn't even been up for twelve hours. Then, I shut down the computer, snuffed out all the candles, and laid there in the dark. Now mind you, I do take a mild sleeping pill, but they don't really help unless I'm actually tired. My mind did race for a few minutes, but every time I caught myself thinking too much, I opened my eyes and stared into the darkness. Just this simple act would make my eyelids heavy, and soon I fell asleep, after having only been up for ten hours. I slept pretty soundly, too, waking up after about six hours feeling energetic and ready to start my day, although I know I'll feel sleepy later on today since six hours isn't nearly enough for me. It's a start though!

I think the darkness is the key. I know when we first moved to the area I had a hard time sleeping because of the street lamps. Even in our old house, where there wasn't one right outside my window, it was too bright for me. Of course, even so much as a nightlight bothers me, so maybe I'm just special. And yet, I can sleep all day ... I am so weird.

Anyway, now I'm just rambling, so I think I'll leave you with this worn out old quote: "Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read" (Groucho Marx).

My First Medicnial Herbal Tea

2011-04-17T01:59:00.000-07:00

So tonight I started having some stomach cramps, probably due to an ultra-fatty taco salad I had for lunch, and I decided to do a little research and make an herbal tea. I looked up some herbs in a really old copy of The Herb Book that was once my great-grandmother's, and wrote down the ones that were supposed to aid in digestion. Of the approximately two dozen herbs listed, we had three on hand, so anise seeds, cayenne pepper, and echinacea (in the form of a Celestial Seasons Echinacea Complete Care tea bag) would have to do. And you know what? It worked! I drank about half of it, and no more stomach cramps! Why only half? Because cayenne pepper is fucking hot! xD So I'd like to share my recipe with you all, in hopes that it will continue to work for other people too.

Rose's Stomach Kick Tea
WARNING: DO NOT DRINK THIS (OR ASK YOUR DOCTOR) IF YOU HAVE ULCERS, ACID REFLUX, OR ANY OTHER STOMACH PROBLEM WHICH KEEPS YOU FROM CONSUMING ACIDIC THINGS.

1 cup water
1 tsp. anise seeds, crushed or ground
1/2 tsp. cayenne pepper
1 tsp. echinacea (or 1 teabag of echinacea tea)

Boil the water, and add the remaining ingredients. Allow to steep for ten minutes. Strain, and serve, drinking one tablespoon at a time. Be sure to have a glass of cold water nearby (!), and try to drink at least half of it (8 tablespoons) for the best effect.

Sex and Violence on TV

2011-04-13T19:18:00.000-07:00

I wrote this for a school assignment, so yeah. xD

I am not so much concerned with the amount of sex and violence on TV today as I am with the context in which it is placed. Both sex and violence, in their pure form, are natural parts of life, and to completely censure them from our entertainment would be denying two basic instincts that make us living beings on this planet. Therefore, the fact that a show or movie is violent or overtly sexual does not necessarily make it bad or even unacceptable for children. It is what that show is saying about the violence--what it is saying about sex--that makes it unacceptable for viewing.

For example, take the movie Braveheart, a movie that is showed quite frequently in its edited version on cable. Even in its made-for-TV version, Braveheart is a very violent movie in which the main character, William Wallace, disobeys the law on numerous occasions and even has sex with a married woman--the wife of the heir to the throne of England! These acts in and of themselves would be considered despicable and no decent parent would advise their children to do them, but Wallace's reason for doing them--freeing his people from the oppressive English government--inspires viewers to stand up for what is right and become strong leaders. Compare this to reality shows which show young men getting into drunken brawls and having sex with women whose names they can't remember in the morning, and I think anyone would prefer their child to watch Braveheart.

I don't think society has been overexposed to sex and violence. I think they haven't been exposed to the right kinds of sex and violence. What kinds do I mean? I mean violent battle scenes that inspire our young men to be great leaders in their families and communities, violent scenes portraying women as strong and capable instead of the helpless victim, sex scenes that teach our young women to love their bodies the way they are and not to be ashamed of their sexuality, and sex scenes that teach our young men how to treat a woman with respect and dignity.

It is not violence or sex on TV that has shaped our society; it's the terrible examples of them that have been portrayed on TV which continue to show the world how incredibly stupid we are.

Apparently, I Heart Casey (Apparently)

2011-03-31T01:30:00.000-07:00

So this evening, I took a nap. I've been having some rather weird dreams lately, and this nap was no exception. Basically, I was on the computer viewing a webpage that I had made, which read "I Love Casey!!!!!!!!!!" across the top and had a clipart of a pregnant Sunbonnet Sue as the background. (By the way, Urban Threads has some awesome "Sinbonnet Sue" embroidery patterns. The pirate is one of my favorites!) I got the impression that Casey was my fiance, I was pregnant with his child, and I had made the website to keep my friends and family updated on the pregnancy and wedding. Upon waking up, I was utterly confused since the only Casey I could think of was from high school, and I believe he's married and/or has a kid or something.

Now, for the record, I don't follow American Idol. I mean, I watch it every now and then, but I don't take the time to learn anyone's names. I knew some of this year's contestants by sight, but I wouldn't have recognized their names. So when, not an hour after I woke up from this dream, I saw Casey Abrams singing my favorite Elton John song on TV, I was ... well, I was still confused, but mainly I thought it was hilarious! xD

No, I don't think Casey Abrams is my soulmate or that I'll ever even meet him. But you know what I do think it means? I think it means he's going to win American Idol. lol Well, I hope he does. He should. You should vote for him. :P Because even though I didn't know what his name was until tonight, I have always enjoyed his singing.

EDIT: Oh, and for the record, I would never design a website as terrible as the one I made in my dream. xD At least, not since I graduated high school. o.O

Spring

2011-03-28T20:14:00.000-07:00

April and May are going to be big months for me this year. I'll post more on each of these subjects individually later on, but I thought I'd touch briefly on them now.

First of all, today was my first day at my new school, Full Sail University. I don't think I've talked about this on the blog before, so I'll give you a brief rundown. Basically, it's a school geared toward the entertainment arts: music, TV, film, video games, etc. They're based in Florida, but they have some degrees available online as well. They send you the required MacBook Pro and any other materials you may need, and you complete one course per month online. It takes a little more than half the time it would take to get a Bachelor's elsewhere, and all of my tuition and fees are going to be covered by financial aid and federal student loans (yipee!). At any rate, I'm majoring in Creative Writing for Entertainment. Cool, huh?

Also, this week will mark one year since I started my current antidepressants. My gods, has it been a year! It has been such a year of transformation and growth, I can't even begin to explain it. I can't tell you what an amazingly positive decision it was to start on medication. I'm so glad I did it, and I will never go back to trying to deal with my depression on my own. I'll be making a video on YouTube about this later this week.

Finally, just after Beltaine (which is May 1st) will be my year and a day from the time I started studying Wicca. Ever since I realized I was a Wiccan (or Pagan at least), I've felt such a sense of relief and of coming home. It is truly the path for me, and I am so happy I've found something that fits me so beautifully. Again, I'll be writing more and making a YouTube video about this when that time rolls around.

Oh, and April is Script Frenzy! I've never done it before, but we'll see! 100 pages in 30 days! o.O

I suppose historically Spring has been a time of transformation for me, even though it's not necessarily my favorite season. I've been most successful losing weight during Spring. I've dropped out of more Spring semesters than Fall (some may not consider that a good thing, but knowing my history, I do!). Spring is consequently the season before summer, which is when I started working at Sugar Pine for two summers, one of the most transformative experiences of my life. It's like, when the earth decides to change, my life gets that and decides it's time to change too.

Ted Williams? Who Cares?! I HATE This Commercial!

2011-02-25T23:21:00.000-08:00

Okay, Ted Williams aside, this is without a doubt the most annoying commercial on TV. I want to slap this little girl upside her head! Why is it okay for kids to have this kind of an attitude?! It makes me so mad at Kraft, I feel like boycotting them! If my kids acted like this, I'd send them to their room without dinner for a week, take away their TV-watching privelages for good, and put them in a different school. Seriously.

This child is showing us that, first, she doesn't eat what she's given, showing a complete disrespect for her mother and a generally ungrateful nature; second, she thinks her mother is an iodiot, which is sort of confirmed when her mother turns and shows us that she thinks her daughter actually likes her cooking; and third, she thinks she knows better than her mother not only what to eat for dinner, but how to spend her hard-earned money. Am I the only one who finds something wrong with this?!?! What are we teaching kids with this commercial? It's just terrible, and disgraceful, and I propose it be taken off the air.

Oh, and I wonder why Kraft is censoring their comments. Hmmmmm?

Happy Imbolc!

2011-02-02T14:26:00.000-08:00

Just wanted to wish everyone a Happy Imbolc!!!! Blessed be!

Tarot Reading Agreement

2011-02-01T22:21:00.000-08:00

Today I got a free massage from a co-worker of mine who's studying to be a massage therapist. Since he gave his massages at the place where we work, our boss had him draw up an agreement saying that he's in no way offiliated with our work and that a massage shouldn't take the place of sound medical advice. (Since this is the end of the massage part of the story, may I just say that it was awesome. I literally had not had a massage in years, and I felt soooo relaxed afterward. xD)

Anyway, since I've gotten a couple requests for Tarot readings (quite literally they just fell into my lap after people saw me "playing" with them), this gave me an idea to draw up my own agreement for my readings. It reads as follows (tell me what you think):

By signing this agreement, I acknowledge that any insight Miss Rose V. Butler gives during my Tarot reading is subject to interpretation and may even change, based on my own choices and free will. Also, any advice that she gives is to be taken as that of a friend and should not take the place of professional advice such as that of a psychiatrist, counselor, life coach, or doctor or other medical professional.

I also understand that Miss Butler is still a student of the art of Tarot reading, which is why this reading is free, but I will treat it with as much sincerity as if I had paid a large amount of money for it. I will not take advantage of this free service.

After which they print their name, sign, and date. I thought this might be a good idea to forgo any misunderstandings right up front, especially the last part. I may still have to look up some card meanings, but that doesn't mean I don't want to be taken seriously. Best Tarot Practices (the main book I've been studying, by Marcia Masino) has actually been very helpful in regards to what to expect from clients and some of the problems that arise during readings. I'm sure it doesn't cover everything--no book can--but it's helpful nonetheless.

Now, who's up for a reading? :D

Attack of the Weekend

2011-01-31T08:53:00.000-08:00

On Saturday, I posted a blog in which I complained about lazing about on the weekends and how torturous it was to my soul to do so. So yesterday, I decided to seize the day and do something with the latter half of my weekend! I'm not sure if I'll do this type of posting every weekend, but I'm sure going to try; I just don't want it to become the only thing I write about. xP

Sunday, January 30, 2011
Time I got up: 12:30 p.m. (I know I said I'd get up before noon, but I was genuinely tired! lol)

What I did in the morning: Slept xD

What I did in the afternoon: I cleaned my room! I was inspired by YouTuber Witchminor1, who, guided by Dancing Rabbit's book The Way of the Horned God, created sacred space by cleaning his room. If a twelve-year-old could do it, what excuse does a grown-ass woman like myself have?! So I set about going through "The Pile" (made when I rearranged my room ... instead of picking stuff up before I moved the furniture, I just sort of shoved it to the side) and getting rid of a bunch of stuff. Well, I didn't quite finish; there are still some odds and ends on my desk that need a place to call home and I still (still!) have boxes that need to be gone through from our last move, not to mention my closet--god knows what's in there! But now The Pile is more like ... stacks of books and a couple bags of stuff that needs to go to the thrift store. At least it's more organized!

It really only made about a square foot of more room, though. I mean sure, I got rid of a ton of papers and junk that I don't need, but I still can't do ritual in my room. I was hoping I'd be able to do that for Imbolc. Ah well. I just need another bookcase or two; that'd clear up my floor. Of course, I'd have to get rid of my "reading" chair, but I can't even sit in it anyway with all the books in the way.

When I'm completely done, I'll post before and after pictures. My mom was a little concerned about me posting pictures of my room on the internet though. lol My sister said, "It's not as if she's posting pictures of our address!" and it's true enough! The only thing I may or may not be blurring out is a binder with my school's name on it. I'm still not sure if I want everyone on the internet knowing where I work and go to school. There are still creepers out there!

Homework I got done: None! *gonk* I'm absolutely dreading going to class today. Well, except for Math. The only class I'm caught up (even ahead!) in is my least favorite subject. And why? Because (a) it's pretty much review for me, and (b) all the homework is done on the computer, which of course makes it ten times more fun. Yes, I did just call Math homework fun. So sue me!

Time I went to bed: Around 11:30 p.m. Too late! I slept in like a half an hour this morning. *grumble*

So yes, that was my weekend, or at least the part of my weekend I actually did something with. xD What did you do with your weekend? I know I don't have many (if any) readers, but I'd love it if someone else did this with me! Just tell us in the comments, or post a link to your own blog post. :)

Blessed be, everyone! )O(

Taking Back My Weekends

2011-01-29T16:26:00.001-08:00

Have I ever mentioned how much I hate weekends? I know, most people look forward to the weekend with a sort of charisma and sense of relief, and they have coined us such terms as T.G.I.F. (Thank God It's Friday) and T.G.I.T. (Thank God It's Thursday; used mostly by college students and others that only work or go to school four days a week), but for me, it's a little disappointing.

Here is how I usually spend my Saturdays and Sundays: After I spend a good eight hours sleeping, followed by another three or four hours tossing and turning while telling myself, "It's Saturday/Sunday; I should get some more sleep" (why do I do this? I've had plenty of rest, so why is it so taboo to get up before 12:00 on the weekend?), I skip my usual shower, eat, sit on my ass on the computer or in front of the TV, eat some more, sit some more, eat some more, sit some more, eat some more, sit some more, and finally I'll either do some homework or continue to sit/eat while feeling guilty about not doing my homework. Then, I'll stay up late (because, after all, it's the weekend) either watching TV or messing around some more on the computer and go to bed feeling grateful that it's one day closer to the active part of my week.

I hate it. I absolutely hate it. Granted, I'm not really any type of athlete, and I have a handy list of at least a hundred excuses for why I can't exercise which I can produce at any given moment, but the thought (and indeed the act) of sitting on my ass all day long in my pajamas with greasy hair ... well, it just makes me sick! In fact, I'm feeling rather sick right now, even as I do it.

So why do I do it? Why don't I get up early, take a shower, take the dog out for a walk, and do my homework like I should, and indeed would like to do? Honestly, I don't have an answer for that. I really don't know why I do it. Perhaps it is the culture, with its weekends-are-for-relaxing type attitude combined with its generally lazy outlook on life. Maybe it's part of me that hasn't recovered from my time as a depressant, and, when given the opportunity to go from stressful week to relaxing weekend, I revert to that same lethargic state. My body and my mind don't know how to relax without becoming completely immobile and neglecting basic hygeine.

Perhaps I need to reteach myself how to do that. What did I do on the weekends when I was a kid? I played outside with the dog, picked blackberries, climbed trees, went roller-blading. Sure, I watched Saturday morning cartoons, but do you know how early you have to wake up to watch Saturday morning cartoons? They start at like seven, and they're over by eleven or twelve o'clock! And do you really think my mom would have let me go to bed at night without a bath? I think not! It wasn't until middle and high school that I started to retreat toward indoor entertainment; what with the newly formed internet and Cartoon Network, why would I ever leave?

So where does this leave me now? I think perhaps a 23-year-old woman climbing trees in the local suburban park would concern some of the neighbors, but there are plenty of lovely walking areas nearby. The dog, too, would certainly appreciate a little attention and exercise, not to mention a chance to get out to the local dog park. And as for my homework, I know for a fact that I'm so much more productive when I'm showered and dressed, even if I'm not planning on going anywhere.

So who's with me? Is there anyone else out there who's ready to take back their weekends and spend them in fun, productive ways? Forget this whole concept of "being active." This isn't about losing weight; it's about reclaiming your life! It's about relieving your stress in a creative and fun way. That's what weekends are all about. So? Are you ready? (Fuck, am I ready? o.O)

My First Hiking Boots

2011-01-17T00:29:00.000-08:00

Check out what my dad wrote on PDHB's Facebook Page. x3 I totally remember those boots!

Spring Semester

2011-01-16T22:36:00.000-08:00

So I spent all day organizing my binder for the Spring Semester. I know, I know ... all day? Yes. All day. See, I lost my planner, so I decided to print out my own and keep it in my binder. I designed all the pages (monthly and weekly calendars) on MS Word (which took a hell of a lot longer than I thought it would). Then, I decided I didn't like it and designed and printed out a new one (which didn't take quite as long, but still took a while). Plus, I had to make new tabs for my dividers, since I lost the extra ones and no one sells them individually (and I'll be damned if I'm going to buy new ones just because I don't have the little tabs to put in them). Then, I printed out pages to divide up the sections that were divided by dividers (by class) into "Notes, Handouts, & Study Guides" and "Assignments & Tests"--cause I'm OCD like that.

At any rate, all this organizing has got me pumped. At the beginning of each semester, I am an over acheiver, and this is no exception. I've already finished one of my math assignments (completed online), read the first chapter of each of my education books, and I'm getting along in my Anthro books as well. And school doesn't start until Tuesday.

My mom and I were talking about how organizing the things around you can help to organize your thoughts as well. I have anxiety and ADD (among other things), and these play a major part in being organized. If I'm disorganized, my anixiety immobalizes me so I just stand there and fret about all I need to do, and once I finally get started on something, my ADD makes me jump from one out of place thing to another. If I don't organize, I can't function (okay, meds help me do that too).

Of course, I have OCD as well, so for me orgainzing can get a little ... for lack of a better word, obsessive? Hence the color-coded calendars, matching dividing pages, and carefully cut out tabs. Oh, and I took half of the pages out of my anthro workbook (Study Guides and Worksheets) and put them in their proper places in my binder. I'm also quite annoyed that only two of my teachers have their syllabuses on their websites (or websites at all, for that matter). I want to know more about my classes right now! lol

But yes, I think it's going to be a good semester. 17.5 units? Bring it!

2011! Woot woot!

2011-01-01T21:04:00.000-08:00

That's right, the year of 2011 C.E. has begun! Now I don't really believe in astrology, since I see divination as something that can be influenced by chance, which the movement of the stars and planets cannot (okay, some astronomer's going to challenge me on this, I know, but can you understand where I'm coming from?), but I did look up my horoscope for 2011 on Astrology.com. Apparently, 2011 will be mainly about me falling in love.

According to my horoscope, "With the Moon, Mercury, Venus, Jupiter, and Uranus packing an explosive punch in your romance sector this spring (May 1 to be exact), love will find you." Now, I found this particularly interesting because for the past few months, I've seen next Beltaine as a turning point in my life, especially in the area of romance. For one, it will be my year and a day (or year and a few days, I'm not really sure) since I started researching paganism, which will be pretty darn big in and of itself. But also, Beltaine is seen as a fertility festival, celebrating sexuality and passion, and I don't know why, but I see this next Beltaine as a good time for me in that area. ;)

I know it's not for another four months, but it's kind of ... encouraging, and I can't wait to celebrate that holiday. :) It also means that the months leading up to it have got to be good, too, right? Of course, I don't believe in astrology, but since I do believe in this particular divination, whether astrology is accurate or not, it should mean that I make the next four months pretty awesome, just because I believe it, right?

Well, anyway, I know I'm looking forward to 2011. Are you? :)

Season of the Witch ... and The Simpsons?

2010-12-29T17:52:00.000-08:00

What? Another movie portraying witchcraft in a negative fashion? Really? I mean, really? I mean, it looks like a cool movie and everything, despite the fact that it's yet another fantasy-related Nicolas Cage movie, but ... I don't know. What if this same movie were made, but the woman portrayed as a witch was called a Christian, and the pentagram showed in the commercials was a cross? Then, you can bet people would be offended.

Actually, I'm not really that offended, just a little annoyed.

... And as I write this, I'm watching an episode of The Simpsons where Lisa walks in on a group of Wiccans doing an esbat ritual in the woods. o.O Actually, it's kinda funny! Wiccapedia. lol ... Okay, so it's amazing. The episode's called "Rednecks and Broomsticks," and you should totally watch it. At least they portray witchcraft in a somewhat realistic and definitely positive fashion!

As opposed to this movie, which was the original reason for writing this post, but that's been kind of blocked out of my mind after that Simpsons episode. xD

EDIT: Someone I went to high school with posted on my Facebook about Season of the Witch, and I was pleasantly surprised by what she said! Total awesome-sauce! I'll just paste it here. x3

Hey I was reading your blog and Season of the witch actually has a twist ending that makes a total change up in the movie. It was pretty good :) The movie doesn't really focus on the killing of witches like you would think. It has a whole different side to it to.

Interreligiousiocity

2010-12-25T18:49:00.000-08:00

I got a video today from a friend of mine in Kazikstan, whom I met a few years ago while working at a Christian summer camp. It was sort of an update about what he's been doing for the past few years and since he graduated, and he talked about all the amazing opportunities he's had working full time in Christian ministry as a Youth Pastor and leader in his church.

Now obviously he doesn't know I've recently become a pagan. Perhaps he still would have sent it to me; I don't know. But as I watched it, I suddenly realized that I didn't feel uncomfortable doing so. As he talked about being led by God, and training young men to "save this world," I didn't squirm in my chair and frown at the screen. Instead of seeing someone who wanted me to believe what they believed and who would disapprove of my life choices, I saw another human being, pursuing the spiritual path that fulfilled their soul and spoke to their heart. I felt connected to him, not distanced, because we're doing the same thing.

So I guess all I'm trying to say is that to be accepting of another's religion, you have to realize that we're all trying to fill the same space, and because we're all different, different things will fill our different spaces.

Books

2010-12-25T02:55:00.000-08:00

Another year, another dismal reading list. Of the four books that I've read since July, two of them have been for school (and to be honest, I didn't actually completely finish either of them). I'm not sure if it's because it's been my first semester going to school full time and working part time, or if it's just because I've been lazy, or if I'm just not any good at following through with a schedule, but I just can't seem to sit down and read a book.

The other day, I finally finished Howl's Moving Castle, which a friend lent to me a couple months ago (it was awesome, by the way), and it felt so good to finally finish a book! So I'm determined to read a great deal more in the coming weeks before school starts again. I'll be working full time starting the 3rd, but I won't have to worry about homework, so I can read in the evenings anyway.

So yes. Reading. Very good.

Oh, and make sure you check out my Books page to see what books I read this past year (well, since July, anyway).

Boys

2010-12-25T02:30:00.000-08:00

I hate boys.

Okay, so I don't hate boys. Well, I do hate the dishonest, deceptive ones ... don't even get me started on them ... but the others I don't really hate. I just want to smack them upside their heads sometimes and say, "Open your eyes, you dolt!" or even, "Would you grow a pair already?!" No, I'm not going into details, just venting a little. Hee hee.

And I would just like to encourage all the young men reading this to ask her out already! "Oh, but what if she says no? I'll feel rejected!" Who the fuck cares?! Do you have any idea how much you will boost her self-esteem and how special you'll make her feel, just by asking one stupid question? Just don't depend all your happiness upon what her answer will be. If she says no, then you can move on; if she says yes, then you've got a date! You really don't have anything to lose, and you'll be making a girl feel good about herself. Isn't that worth it?

Well, anyway, take my advice or not. I don't care. But the next time you have a crush on a girl, at least keep what I said in mind. ;)

2 Days til Countdown Begins!

2010-10-30T16:19:00.001-07:00

"And what if you don't finish in 30 days?"
"I'll finish in 30 days."
"But what if you don't finish in 30 days? Then what happens?"
"... I get killed."

Alex & Emma = the NaNoWriMo movie!

Olive Oil & Honey

2010-10-17T22:33:00.000-07:00

So tonight I made an olive oil-honey mask, and as I was putting it on my hair, enjoying (?) the smell, my brain all of a sudden went to a monastary in Italy. I've never been to Italy, and I've never been to a monastary, but the smell of that oil combined with the sweet smell of honey transported me to what I thought of as a familiar place.

I don't think I lived there; I wasn't a monk. But I did spend some time there - someone I loved lived there - either a brother or a lover. I used to walk through the garden and enjoy the flowers. :)

Huh, it's interesting. Past lives are cool.

Weight Loss and Such

2010-09-26T16:38:00.000-07:00

So today I got my tarot read by Wiccagem on his BlogTalkRadio show! It was totally awesome; I'd never had my tarot read before. Squee!

Anyway, one of the things that he saw in the cards is that I should eat healthier. Many would assume that since I've lost 12 pounds since school started in mid-August, this bit of advice would be pretty stupid. But the only reason I've lost weight is because I haven't had time to eat! And what little I have eaten is total crap food like cereal, granola bars, and cheesey roll-ups dipped in salsa (seriously, that's all I eat). Recently, I've been thinking that if I change my eating habits, I'd lose even more weight, but with school and work, I haven't had the time to really sit down and make a plan.

Now, of course, I realize that I need to. I don't want to get sick later on in the semester because I'm malnourished or something. xD So yeah, today I ate a bowl of whole wheat spaghetti with marinera sauce and some chicken breast (after I wolfed down a couple of brownies ... I couldn't let Mom eat them all!), so I'm off to a pretty decent start. ^^;

Rawr

2010-09-26T13:43:00.001-07:00

So I haven't posted anything on here in like forever. I am still alive, I swear! I'm going to try to write on this more in the near future. I've been too lazy to make YouTube videos, but there are things I'd like to talk about and responses I'd like to make to other people's videos. Anyway, just thought I'd make an update. Peace and love and blessed be! )O(

Teh Hotties

2010-07-21T06:20:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I don't know why, but I decided to compile a list seven of the hottest guys in Hollywood. They're in alphabetical order by first name, and I'll definitely be adding to the list as time goes on. Enjoy!

Alexander Skarsgård
plays Eric Northman in True Blood

Christian Bale
My fav is a toss-up between Batman Begins/Dark Knight and Reign of Fire, although I first saw him in Little Women. ^_^

Christian Kane
plays Eliot Spencer in Leverage (but I saw him in a couple episodes of Angel recently! Ha!)

Gerard Butler
Oh god, he's been in so many things ... I loved him in P.S. I Love You, which is surprising 'cause I don't usually like chick flicks. ^_^

Hugh Jackman
"But Hugh Jackman is Wolverine!" lol At the moment, though, my fav of his is Australia.

Michael Douglas
Romancing the Stone, hands down, is my favorite. Actually, it's the only movie in which I think he is hot ... but he's so hot, it makes up for all his other non-hot movies.

Norman Reedus
plays Murphy MacManus in The Boondock Saints

Random Ramblings

2010-07-20T13:31:00.000-07:00

So I just found out Comic-Con is this weekend! I really, really, really wish I could go! It's all the way in San Diego, though, and of course I have no car (and no license for that matter) and no money. I told Mom about it, and she thinks I'm a total nerd ... then again, I am, so I don't really care! Ha ha!

Christopher Paolini's going to be there, too (you know, author of the Inheritance Cycle ... Eragon?), and he's one of my favorite living authors. Anyway, he's doing an interview with Suvudu, and they're asking for any questions people want answered! What do I ask? I haven't even finished Brisingr. Ah well, I'll think of something.

I really miss out on a lot of conventions with all my friends living far away. My family really isn't into any of that stuff. Actually, I've never even been to any sort of convention! One year in high school, our Anime Club (*coughmyfriendsandIcough*) tried to save up to go to an anime convention, but we never got enough money (I think ... that was one of my weird years, so they could have gone without me ... but I don't think they did ... although technically, being on Independent Study through the public school system, I could have been a part of any club on campus ... I guess I just didn't think about that ... I really wish I would have stayed in AD ...).

Anyway, I don't know what else to say. I just thought I should post a blog, since I haven't in so long, and this was what was on my mind. Peace, love, and blessed be!

Igor Movie Review

2010-06-01T03:12:00.000-07:00

When I first saw the previews for Igor, I thought it looked adorable, and I really wanted to see it. But, as sometimes happens with three completely different women living in the same house, none of my family wanted to see it, which means I had to wait until it came on demand. Thank god we're subscribed to the premium movie channels!

Unfortunately, I was severely disappointed. I mean, really, MGM, major fail. Whatever happened to classics like All Dogs Go To Heaven? It's like some corporate idiot decided MGM needed to jump on the computer-generated bandwagon and forced some poor producers and writers to come up with something out of the clear blue sky. Then they hired a bunch of struggling artists, fresh out of college, to animate the thing without any previous experience or real talent. Basically, the plot is so cliche, it made me cringe, and the animation is so terrible, it reminded me of the first episodes of VeggieTales.

On that note, let's talk about the animation for a moment. Yes, I realize it takes a great deal of effort and many, many hours of manpower to produce even the worst five-minute short. Admitedly, the quality of Igor's animation could pass for a computer game, but not for a major animated picture. If MGM wished to compete in the film industry with such giants as Pixar and Dreamworks, it should have just forgotten about it. Igor is at least fifteen to twenty years behind either company. As I hinted at earlier, it looks like some students from the Academy of Art University put it together for a final project, which they got a B+ on. Okay, A-.

As far as the plot is concerned, this is what makes me think that a corporate bigwig came up with the idea to make an animated movie and put a horrifically unrealistic deadline on a group of innocent producers and writers. The entire storyline and setting are so poorly thought out, and the manner of explaining them so terrifyingly dull, I thought about turning the movie off more times than once. From the cringe-worthy narration at the beginning to the awkward love story at the end, I winced at the mere thought of having my name associated with this movie. And I'm not famous.

With all that said, there are three things that kept me watching until the end. First, Scamper. An immortal, suicidal rabbit?! That is so incredibly awesome, I really don't know what to say! And the fact that his voice is played by Steve Buscemi makes it that much more amazing (but I'll get to that in a minute)! Secondly, the dialogue. Now, as I stated before, the plot and setting are absolutely awful, but whoever wrote the actual dialogue for the characters is a genious! There are so many hilarious, quotable lines in this, I wanted to giggle like a school girl! And finally, the amazing cast! It's hard to believe that a cast that included John Cusak, Steve Buscemi, Eddie Izzard, Jennifer Coolidge, John Cleese, and Jay Leno could have been found in anything less than a blockbuster, but alas! It is so! Okay, so maybe they haven't been in many record-breaking hits, but they've always been some of my favorite actors (or in Eddie's case, comedians; I don't necessarily like him as an actor ... and I've actually never seen Jay in anything but late night shows ...).

So anyway, unless you absolutely love hilarious dialogue, suicidal bunnies, and the above actors, don't see Igor. I mean, don't even let your kids see it, because knowing kids these days, they'll probably love it, and you'll have to see it over and over and over again ...

The New Blog

2010-05-23T15:44:00.000-07:00

For anyone that cares, yes, I deleted all my old posts. Why? Because they weren't me. Those posts do not reflect who I am or who I want to be. Since starting my medication, my life has made a complete 180, and I couldn't be happier! I've never felt more like myself in all my life. All of who I thought I was or what I wanted to be is gone, and now all that's left is me.

If this is a problem for any of you (and it will be for some), then unfollow me, unfriend me on Facebook, pray for me, do whatever. I don't care! Just let me be me.